junction junction whats your function

so i have a boyfriend and he is really sweet. dont think that this post has anything to do with soul mates as to my previous post. i think i have come to the conclusion that i dont believe in it. but i still am crazy about him and like him.

this weekend i went home to nicks town of grand junction. i stayed with his family and got to meet them. they were incredibly sweet and welcoming. i got to meet some of his friends as well as go to a wedding of one of his high school friends.

i think grand junction is beautiful. maybe not so much the actual town (it reminded me a little of anchorage) but it is located in a huge valley surrounded by mountains that are beautiful. they are flat and long and indescribable.

this weekend was a learning experience as well as an awesome time. im so glad i went.

soul mates

so ive been thinking about soul mates a little bit recently. ive thought long and hard about it and evaluated it but i cant come to the conclusion if i believe in them or not.

what if there are soul mates. what if you think you guys are soul mates but they dont have the same feelings. does that mean then that you are in fact not soul mates? what if you are soul mates and neither of you know it. well i guess soul mates are more of a fate thing so in the words of fate if its meant to be then it is meant to be.

but what if there is no such thing as soul mates. there are billions of people in the world how could just one be your soul mates? what are the chances of even finding them?

what do you think?

golden flower

yesterday i met the refugee family we will be working with for the next few months. we arrived at four and found the apartment alright. the door was open and there were a lot of people so we werent quite sure if it was the right place because no one spoke english, but we went in anyway.

turned out it was the right place but we called the translator and she said the meeting wasnt until 430. hmmmmm so we had a nice long half hour of awkward not being able to communicate. we did figure out how to get our names across and how to show how old we were with our fingers. jessica acted out soccer and basketball to try and ask the boy if he liked to play. only to find out that the words were the same in their language as in ours.

finally the translator showed up. this is the only time we will have her there when we are working with the family so we are going to have to find so new means of communication until they learn so english or we learn some of their language.

they have a precious seven year old daughter. her name in english means golden flower. this is going to be a really awesome but intense learning experience that i am really looking forward to. after the meeting they were able to say thank you in english and we could say it in their language ta bleu (not how you spell it but it sounded kind of french but slurred)

hypochondric

well now i am sick and have bronchitis. i want to die. just chop off my head. where is a guillotine when you need one? come on french. at first i thought i was just a hypochondriac from watching too much greys anatomy. i wanted to be on the show so badly that i made myself sick so i could go to the doctor. alright alright im not that weird. hopefully ill be better soon since im now the stairwell drug addicted. knocked up with 6 different medicines. greys anatomy for next 24 hours? i think so.

let it be let it be let it be let it be

so i didnt get to meet my refugee family today due to misinformation about addresses. i was so sad. i had been preparing for this all day. excited, nervous, so many feelings that i couldnt explain only to be let down. it was partially my fault i suppose. they sent me two addresses. one saying 401 and one saying 410 i guess i could have printed both off but i just didnt look at them that closely.

i am just disappointed. but more in myself. i hate letting people down and thats what i feel i did today. said i would be somewhere and didnt show up. and i know i may be being too hard on myself, this was just a simple mistake and there is nothing i could do about it. but i am just disappointed. today has been long and hard and depressing and i just wasnt ready for it.

i used to look at things through the perspective that if there is nothing you can do to change something than make the most of what youre given. i feel like i have lost that mentality. that it was something that came along with my innocence and youth, being able to find the joy in even the lowest points. i wish i could bring that back because recently i have found myself to be more pessimistic rather than the optimist we all knew and loved.

i guess its like what i said in my last entry. im just overwhelmed. im taking on so much stuff and maybe im just not ready for what im getting myself into.

looking back at what i just wrote made me sad. the majority of what i wrote was about me, what im feeling, why im upset, whats wrong with me. instead i need to be focusing not on myself but on things that are so much more important than whatare going on in my life. ive been blessed with so much and need to not take that for granted. to be thankful for what ive been given, and make the most of any situation, like what i once belived.